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In which I pacify myself to continue on writing despite the blunders.

In which I pacify myself to never stop trying despite the blunders.

If there’s one thing I’m completely envious with some bloggers is their ability to express their thoughts so eloquently. One of the main reasons why I insisted on blogging despite my obvious lack of writing talent is to acquire that skill. But I’ve been doing this for quite some time and while I do think I improved *coughs* diminutive progress *coughs* but I’m nowhere where I want to be & often reasoned that it’s not my mother tongue (I think this reason is starting to wear thin). LOL I still write the same & still not evidently conscious on how I sort out my thoughts—whether it is properly convey or not.

I want to have a distinct voice & style (and not to be known as this person who commits mistakes on a regular basis—though for now that’s my situation). I do not aspire to be like Juliette (of Shatter Me). I don’t think pretty sentences are my aesthetic anyways, plus excessive use of metaphors can take away the real thought; as it sometime strips its literal meaning (at least to me).

Honestly, I don’t think I pay attention too much on how grammar works *put down those pitch forks grammar nazis* I know it’s important to use a language on how it is properly use but the method of memorizing the nooks & corner is not suited for me. I’m that kind of learner who needs to be exposed, pick up interesting/important points then apply (even though I’m not sure if I used correctly. I’d like to gamble, haha.) Perhaps it might sound a daunting process but I prefer it this way. The academic approach is bound to be forgotten. My mind works differently I supposed.

You know, sometimes I still wonder how I learned to code. But I think the reason is I never failed to use it. I keep doing it again and again that it naturally absorbed by my brain. Aren’t HTML, CSS languages? I even like reading manga in raw (Japanese text), type the dialogues & look up each meaning, even though it may take a while for me to translate it (if worst come to worst I holler my sister for help). But the sense of achievement over what it seems such a small task to some is worth reveling for.

But I digress, the whole point of this post is a friendly reminder to myself to keep it up; despite the embarrassing stumbles along the way, if I keep myself optimistic about it then maybe I’ll able to write something I’ll be proud of. Isn’t also important is to express yourself sincerely? So for now, I’m holding on to the thought, so please bear the inconsistencies. I trusted people’s words about learning: it never stops. And I’ll never stop!

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
— Pablo Picasso

2015 / 09 / 11

6 Responses to Relax and Continue on!

  1. Ha honestly I hoped I would develop my writing through blogging as well but over the two years I’ve only become more ragey and ranty. (Also I’m getting better in making up my own words to get the point across, as you can see.) Personally, I learnt to talk in English while I was in primary school and living in England, and since it’s easier to pick up a language when you’re smaller I kind of learned it as I would my first language. I just absorbed it. Maybe because my teachers never had a student who could not speak English and I had to learn through observing and them explaining words I couldn’t understand through gestures. Just like you would an infant to be honest. So when I went back to Poland and had English lessons I could never answer questions about grammar and the whys of it. I just read/heard something and it either sounded right or it sounded wrong. And in 99% of the cases I was right. The other 1% I probably wasn’t paying attention to what the teacher was saying at all :D And that’s why I can get angsty when native English speakers make simple grammar mistakes. If it sounds wrong or right to me, how is it not the same for them, ya know?

    Anyway, you said that pretty sentences are not your thing but I think the last sentence of the second paragraph was pretty great. I got a bit jealous. :p

    • Mitchii G. says:

      I agree, languages are easier to learn when you’re younger. It just, how can I explain it…you don’t have a lot of things in your head so it’s easy to fill in things because you’re just starting to amass knowledge? (please include in my resume the lack of talent at explaining). I’m not really disappointed when English speakers make mistakes; I mean everyone does at some point. What I don’t like is how some laugh at people struggling to express themselves in a language they’re not comfortable with. It makes it harder to communicate because they’re scared to become a laughing stock.

      It does? *blushes* those weird times. Sometimes, I just write and write, and write without care. I’m in the mood kinda of person so when I write it naturally flows, haha. I’m so weird! >///<

  2. Kezia says:

    Heyaaa!! I think every one (particularly us who aren’t natives) hopes for improvement. I am not much of a good writer but that’s probably why I feel so proud whenever I finish a post no matter how it is. There’s a sense of achievement, even though I know my language is still far behind everybody else. ^^ I guess I’m kinda the opposite of your style — sometimes I’m so curious about the correct grammar that I search it on google haha. I genuinely enjoy reading your posts though and I think you write excellent discussions <333

    • Mitchii G. says:

      Me too, despite the obvious weirdness that is my writing I’m quite happy when I finished drafts. These are my words, it came from my head, my every own idea. And that itself is worth rejoicing, LOL. Sometimes I do that too. I searched how stuff works, but sometimes I’m way too lazy and just go with it, haha.

  3. Liv says:

    HEY MITCHII! I remember you from my fangirl days, I just realized you are blogging! I completely agree that blogging is a way to become more comfortable with language and I can tell you if I didn’t blog I might be less comfortable with conversations in real life. A lot of us are better at writing than speaking and it helps to start with crawling than running. Of course HTML and CSS are languages, they should be the first for us bloggers to master. :D

    • Mitchii G. says:

      Yes, I remember you! I’ve always loved your site, so sleek and fancy! I still have tiny bit problems when communicating in RL but I’m glad it works for you. Blogging sure has lots of perks. xD

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